Returning to work after taking time off has felt both grounding and challenging. This first week back has been all about balancing a full-time job and my side projects while trying to protect my peace. I’m grateful I got to take a break from work, but part of me feels scared that my old habits might creep back in and that I might lose the momentum I’ve built these past few weeks for my personal projects, like my blog.

After 5 weeks away on FMLA, I finally returned to my 9–5 this past Monday. To say I was excited to go back would be a lie. I always knew this day would come, but I didn’t anticipate the anxiety to hit a few days before I had to return. I was overthinking everything; returning to a toxic environment, seeing people again, and worrying about how it might affect not just my routine, but also my mental and emotional well-being.

Walking back into the office kind of felt like the first day of school. I was anxious, nervous, and scared, but also grateful that I have a job. As the day went by, I realized it wasn’t as bad as I’d imagined. That’s when it clicked: my mind had been playing tricks on me this whole time. Most of the fear I felt was just that, fear. It wasn’t reality.

Listening to My Body

A few days before returning to work, I noticed my left breast started to hurt again, and the pain from my plantar fasciitis came back. At first, I brushed it off, but deep down I knew my body was trying to tell me something.

Those physical symptoms were my body’s way of speaking loud and clear: “Something here isn’t right.”

It was confirmation that the job I’m in is no longer aligned with where I’m headed. This time, I’m choosing to listen differently. Instead of making an impulsive decision and quitting out of frustration, I’m being smart and strategic about my next move. I want to take the leap, but with intention, preparation, and a clear plan.

The Reality of Finding Balance

In a previous post, I wrote about how intentional I wanted to be during my 5 weeks off. That I didn’t want to make the same mistake of letting time go to waste. So I focused on building discipline and consistency, two things of my biggest struggles.

Being out of work helped a lot because I finally had time to experiment with different systems and routines. Each morning, I wrote down my to-do list and set clear intentions for my day. I wanted to bring that same structure into my work life when I returned. But the truth is, this week has been harder than I expected.

By midweek, I noticed how mentally exhausted I felt after being in front of a computer for 8 hours. And the last thing I wanted to do was open my laptop to work on my blog after a long day in the office. That’s when I realized something important: I needed to adjust my expectations and rework my daily routine to avoid burning out.

This week has been a trial run; a reminder that balancing a full-time job and my side projects is going to take time, patience, and grace.

Adjusting, Not Quitting

If I’m being completely honest, this week didn’t go as I had imagined. It’s been hard to find my rhythm again without falling back into old habits. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s okay to be tired, to rest, to readjust.

What matters is that I don’t give up. I won’t abandon myself or my dreams just because it’s hard.

This experience is teaching me that balance isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about showing up in small ways, even when life feels heavy. It’s about learning to flow with change, not resist it.

So no, this week didn’t go as I wanted to and that’s okay. I’m learning to release expectations and live more realistically. I know I’ll find my rhythm again, and when I do, I make sure to let you all know.

Key Takeaway

Balancing a full-time job and side projects isn’t easy; but it’s possible when you give yourself grace, listen to your body, and remember that growth happens one imperfect day at a time.

The past five weeks went by so fast, it almost feels like they didn’t even happen! But as I sit here reflecting on how I’ve spent this time off for healing, I can’t help but feel a bit anxious about returning to work.

The difference between this time and all the other times I’ve taken a break is that I’ve been intentional from the very beginning. I didn’t want to waste this opportunity or fall back into old patterns.

This time, I chose to work on the foundation of how I want my life to look in the years ahead. I had to audit my life and be completely honest about what I wanted to focus on during this period of time off for healing.

The main reason I asked my doctor to take me out of work was because my body was screaming for rest. As I mentioned in a previous post (click here) with all the health issues I’ve been dealing with, my body needed me to slow down, and this time, I actually listened without feeling any guilt.

Resting Without Guilt

The first few days of my FMLA were all about rest and allowing my body to tell me what it needed. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of waking up late, binge-watching Netflix, and being a total couch potato (like I’ve done plenty of times before).

Still, I let myself have the first two or three days to just relax and not think about being “productive.” That was my way of getting it out of my system. I think we all need those days where we just don’t want to think or do anything at all. What matters is not staying in that stage or feeling guilt or shame for it.

This short period of time off from work gave me a new appreciation for slowing down. Rest is not laziness; it’s medicine.

Building Habits and Routines

After those lazy-mode days were out of my system, I decided it was time to get to work on the habits I wanted to build.

That meant:

• Meditating daily, first thing in the morning.
• Journaling my thoughts and feelings to stay aware and grounded.
• Moving my body and becoming physically active again.
• And most importantly, working on my blog — the passion project that means so much to me.

Each morning, I woke up early as if I were still going to work, wrote down everything I needed to do, and went from there. Some days were great; others, not so much. But this time, I didn’t let myself spiral or feel guilty for the “bad” days. I simply tried again the next day, and again after that.

This time off for healing has taught me that small, consistent actions matter more than perfection.

Creating Systems and Following Through

This experience also showed me how much I need structure, real plans and systems that I can follow through on.

I’ve spent most of my life wishing and waiting for things to fall into place, without realizing that I’m the one who needs to do the work. No one’s coming to save me or make it happen.

Now, each day I show up with a positive mindset, ready to keep building healthy habits and laying the foundation for how I want my life to look in the next 5–10 years. Taking this time off for healing reminded me that discipline and self-compassion can coexist, and that’s where real balance lives.

Everything Happens for a Reason

I truly believe everything happens for a reason. And I think the universe had to send me this “lesson” in the form of my medical challenges so I could finally advocate for myself and take time off for healing intentionally.

Looking back, I can see how much I’ve changed in just five weeks. I feel more at peace, more grounded, and more like myself than I have in a long time.

The real challenge will be next week when I return to work. But this time, I’m going back with clarity, intention, and a new mindset.

And that, more than anything — makes me believe that I’ve got this and I can tackle anything that life throws at me!

Let’s be honest, after years of having horrible habits and constantly sabotaging everything in my life, breaking those patterns has not been easy. Honestly, it’s like learning a new language. Retraining the brain isn’t as easy as it seems, but it’s totally doable.

Since I’ve been out of work on FMLA (click here to read previous post), I’ve been using this extra time to focus on building healthy habits to stop self sabotage and keep up with my routines. The real test, though, will be next week when I return to work.

Daily Habits That Keep Me Grounded

One of the most powerful habits to stop self sabotage has been writing my to-do list every morning. It helps me remember what I need to do and keeps me accountable. I’ve been using Notion to stay organized, but honestly, you can use anything, even a simple notebook works.

To be completely honest, I don’t always finish every task. Most days, I forget to check my list until the evening, and then I find myself I’m rushing to complete everything just to get that little dopamine hit of checking things off. But here’s the difference: I no longer beat myself up for it. I don’t spiral into guilt or shame. I simply acknowledge it and try again the next day.

Breaking years of bad habits doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, consistency, and determination to keep showing up, even when you don’t feel like it. I also try not to overwhelm myself with too many tasks. I have to be realistic about what I can actually accomplish each day.

If you’re trying to build habits to stop self sabotage, start small. Replace one bad habit at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are we. As long as you commit to doing one thing each day and actually do it, that’s what matters. You’re retraining and rewriting your brain — and the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Journaling: My Mirror for Self-Reflection

Another essential habit to stop self sabotage has been journaling. Each day, I write about how I feel and how my emotions affect my ability to stick to my routines. Let’s be real, some days, you’re going to feel like crap and not want to do anything. And that’s okay.

What matters is honesty. Show up even when you don’t want to. Doing something small, like making your bed, is a signal to yourself that you mean business and that you’re no longer abandoning yourself.

Even if you need a “lazy day,” write it down and embrace it guilt-free. Just don’t stay in that funk longer than you need to.

Moving My Body for My Future Self

Another one of my favorite habits to stop self sabotage is moving my body daily. I’ll be honest, I don’t have the best relationship with my body right now, but I’m working on changing that every day.

I decided to make walking on the treadmill for 25 minutes my non-negotiable. I usually watch Netflix or YouTube while I walk. And before I shower, I do 10 jumping jacks, 10 pushups, and 10 crunches; no excuses.

This simple routine has helped me rebuild my connection with my body. I owe it to my future self, and that’s who I show up for every day, HER.

Believing That Change Is Possible

Writing about my progress here every week keeps me accountable and grounded. Sharing my struggles, my wins, and everything in between pushes me to keep going.

When I first launched my blog, my intention was simple: to inspire anyone reading to believe that change is possible.

The most important part of growth is believing you can change. Becoming your future self starts with one decision — choosing not to be the same person you were yesterday, a month ago, or a year ago.

If you’re not changing, you’re not growing. And if you’re not growing, you’re slowly dimming your light. I truly believe we all have a beautiful, powerful version of ourselves waiting to emerge — it already lives within us. We just have to step into it.

Last week, I wrote about turning 35 and to celebrate my solar return I went to Nashville with my boyfriend — and what an amazing trip it was!

Back when I was 29, I had this “plan” to spend every birthday in my 30s traveling somewhere new. Of course, as the saying goes, “when we plan, God laughs.” None of my birthday plans for the first half of this decade went the way I imagined. Not one. For years, I felt like life was playing with me, making things harder.

But this year? Everything shifted. For the first time in a long time, I got to spend my special day exactly how I wanted.

Facing My Fear of Flying Before My Birthday in Nashville

Over the last few years, my fear of flying has gotten worse. I’ll be honest — my mind goes straight to the worst-case scenario, like the plane dropping out of the sky. On top of that, I’d spiral about leaving Lucky, my older dog with health issues, and worry something might happen to him while I was gone.

When my boyfriend and I went to St. Pete’s back in May, I had constant anxiety attacks before the trip because I didn’t want to leave Lucky with my mom. But this time in Nashville, it felt different. I didn’t feel the same fear of being on the plane, and I trusted that Lucky was going to be okay. I felt calmer, more grounded, more at peace.

Instead of spiraling, I let myself breathe. And that shift — being able to notice when my mind wanted to wander into fear and then pull myself back — is something I’ve been practicing. In Nashville, it finally clicked. I was fully present. I wasn’t consumed by fear. I felt alive.

Nashville: More Than I Imagined

Nashville exceeded my expectations. This trip was definitely one for the books.

Walking down Broadway, bar-hopping, and watching live performances was pure magic. The energy was immaculate, freeing, and unforgettable. We even did the full touristy thing and booked a pedal tavern ride through downtown. Normally, my social anxiety would’ve held me back — but this time, I let myself be friendly and social.

And of course, I had to check something off my bucket list: riding a mechanical bull! Yes, I fell off multiple times — but it was ridiculously fun.

My boyfriend and I even got matching tattoos because… why the hell not? Life is short, and I love that I get to create these memories with my best friend.

Why This Birthday Felt Different at 35

For so long, I dreaded my birthdays. They felt heavy, uncomfortable, almost like something I “had to get through.” But this time, I chose to honor myself. I chose to celebrate my life, my growth, and my journey.

This trip marked more than just turning 35. It was about showing up for myself, taking up space, and leaning into confidence. For me, 35 is the beginning of a new chapter — a new era. It’s no longer about dwelling in the past; it’s about planning intentionally for the future.

This next phase of my 30s feels like an initiation — a spiritual ascension that began before I even turned 30. Now, I’m stepping into it fully.

To the Next 5 Years

So here’s to the next five years in my 30s. I welcome them with open arms. I’m ready for new challenges, deeper growth, and whatever lessons life wants to bring my way.

Happy Birthday to me — here’s to showing up, to freedom, and to becoming the woman my future self is waiting for me to be.