Personal Blog

Taking the Leap (But This Time, I’m Doing It Differently)

There comes a moment when you realize that staying where you are is more painful than the fear of what comes next. And I’m standing in that moment right now.

I’ve quit jobs before.. usually out of pure frustration and emotional exhaustion. I’d wake up miserable, hate every second of the workday, and finally say, “That’s it, I’m done.” And then I’d just… leave. No plan. No savings. Just vibes. It never ended well.

This time? I’m not doing that.

This time, I’m still at the job that makes me feel unfulfilled, disconnected, and honestly… like I’m sleepwalking through my life. But I’m choosing a different approach. Instead of letting the discomfort drive me into chaos, I’m sitting with it. I’m building a plan. I’m learning to walk away on purpose, not out of panic.

It hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to face some uncomfortable truths—like the fact that I’ve spent years following a path that was never really mine. I was raised to believe that success meant doing everything “right”: go to school, get the degree, find a stable job, retire at 65. That was the dream. Only… it wasn’t mine.

Now, at 34, I feel more lost than ever. And that sense of “being behind” has eaten me alive some days. I compare myself to others, spiral into shame, and wonder what’s wrong with me. But I’m starting to see that there’s nothing wrong with me, my path just looks different. I’m not meant to fit into a box. I’m meant to create something new, on my own terms.

So why haven’t I done it yet? Honestly; Discipline. Consistency. Fear. I abandon myself the second things get hard or uncertain, I make excuses, and I settle. Then I wonder why I feel so stuck.

But I’m done blaming everyone else. The only person who can change this is me.

So here’s what I’m doing:

  • I’m making a plan.
  • I’m saving money.
  • I’m being honest with myself about what I want and what needs to change.
  • I’m rebuilding trust with myself after years of giving up too soon.
  • I’m laying the foundation before I leap, because I want this next chapter to actually work.

And I’m documenting all of it right here.

This is the start of a new series on the blog, my journey to changing my life, one week at a time. I’ll be sharing everything: the small wins, the struggles, the mindset shifts, the setbacks, and all the messy in-between. Not because I have all the answers, but because I’m finally asking the right questions.

So if you’ve ever felt stuck in a job you hate… if you feel like you’re not living in alignment with your purpose… if you’ve made impulsive choices in the past and want to do it differently this time, this space is for you too.

Let’s grow through it together.

Not perfectly. Just intentionally.

This time, we leap with a plan.

“Woman thinking about quitting her job at her computer”

Feeling Stuck & Numb: Using the Cancer New Moon to Reclaim My Purpose

🖤 Let’s Be Real: I’ve Been Feeling Disconnected

I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m just… floating.

Not in a dreamy way but more like I’m living on autopilot. I wake up, go to work, do what I have to do, go back home, then bed and repeat the next day. It’s like I’m watching my life happen from the outside, but I’m not actually in it. You ever feel that way?

There’s this quiet kind of sadness that comes with it. Not full-blown depression or anything like that, but more like a numbness. Like something’s off and dead inside me.

The truth is, I don’t feel connected to my purpose right now. Yes, I’m grateful to have a job, but the truth is… it doesn’t light me up. It doesn’t feel like “me.” I find myself daydreaming about a different kind of life one where I’m doing something that actually matters to me, where I wake up excited, where I feel alive.

But instead, I feel stuck and numb. Waiting for something to change, even though I know I’m the one who has to change it. And that’s what hurts the most.

🌑 A New Moon Ritual to Call Myself Back

Since tonight is the new moon in Cancer, the sign of home, intuition, and deep emotional healing, I’m using this energy to reconnect with myself. To start small. To remember what it feels like to actually feel again.

In astrology, new moons mark the beginning of a cycle — and this one will ripple out over the next six months.That means whatever we choose to plant right now (energetically, emotionally, or spiritually) could shape how the rest of this year unfolds.

So I’ve made a decision: I’m done waiting for clarity to find me. I’m using this new moon as my signal to move, even if it’s slow. I’m choosing to believe I’m not stuck forever. That this “funk” I’ve been in isn’t permanent. That maybe this feeling of disconnection is actually my soul nudging me toward something more aligned and fulfilling.

🌑 My Ritual Plan (With a Soft, Witchy Touch)

Here’s what I’m doing to gently work with this energy. You can follow it exactly or just pull what resonates:

🦋 Set Intentions

I sit with myself, and write down what I want to call into my life over the next six months. I write these intentions as if I already have them in my current life and I finish setting my intensions with love and gratitude.

💧 Moon Water

I fill a glass jar with water and leave it on my windowsill to charge under the moon. I whisper my intention into it before bed: “I welcome clarity, softness, and change.” The next day, I sip it slowly or use the water to make some matcha or tea.

🔥 Candle Ritual

With the candle still burning, I write down what I’m ready to release, the numbness, the overthinking, the guilt for not having it all figured out and I burn it (safely). Letting it go, quite literally.

🧘🏽‍♀️ Meditation + Breathwork

I breathe. I visualize. I give myself permission to feel again. I picture the version of me I want to become six months from now, rooted, fulfilled, free, and I invite her in.

🛍️ Soulful Tools That Support My New Moon Rituals

(Affiliate links below — I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them, at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting this blog + my energy 💛)

🌙 Final Words

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, stuck, or just tired of faking it, know that you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

This new moon is a chance to reset. To remember that you’re still allowed to want more. That you’re still allowed to change. And that what you set into motion tonight might be the beginning of a whole new reality, six months from now.

So give yourself grace. Give yourself permission to start over or start again.

You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be.

“I Don’t Have It All Figured Out — And That’s Okay”

Let’s just get this out of the way: I don’t have it all figured out.

And you know what? I’m learning to be okay with that.

I used to think not knowing what I was doing meant I was behind, like I had missed some secret adulting memo that everyone else got. Life constantly felt like a checklist I was failing to keep up with; career, goals, purpose, passion, friends, society and family expectations. And if I didn’t have a five-year plan, I’d spiral into thinking I was doing everything wrong.

Lately though, I’ve realized that not knowing doesn’t mean I’m lost, it just means I’m living. Life doesn’t always make sense right away. It unfolds in messy, unpredictable, beautiful ways. And no, I don’t love the uncertainty. I still catch myself overthinking and panicking when things feel unclear. But I’m learning to sit with the discomfort instead of running from it.

One thing that’s been helping me is journaling. When my thoughts are loud and tangled, putting pen to paper gives me space to just be and let the emotions come out. I’ve been using this guided journal that has gentle prompts to help me reflect without overthinking. It’s been a lifesaver on really messy days.

And let me tell you, setting the vibe matters. Whenever I need to get in my zone, I’ll light incense sticks. There’s something about that grounding scent that helps me slow down and just breathe.

Some days I switch it up and use my essential oil diffuser with a few drops of lavender or eucalyptus. It helps me ease into sleep mode without even trying. No deep productivity hacks. Just softness.

Oh, and books. One that’s really stuck with me and I’m constantly re-reading it is The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. It hits in all the right ways. Not preachy, just honest. Like having a big sister talk you through your chaos.

And of course, some nights I’m over here spiraling at 11pm scrolling on TikTok instead of sleeping. That’s when these blue light glasses come in clutch. Protect your eyes and your peace, sis.

Anyway, this whole “figuring life out” thing? I don’t think it ever really ends. But I’m trying to stop treating uncertainty like a problem to solve. I’m reminding myself that showing up, doing my best, and not quitting on myself is enough. Even when it doesn’t look “perfect or put together”.

If you’re in a similar space, figuring it out, feeling lost, unsure what the next step is, just know I see you. And you’re not behind. You’re just human.

Thanks for being here. More posts coming soon — no promises of perfection, just realness and progress. 💛

Things That Help Me When I Don’t Have It All Figured Out:

Here are a few tools and comforts that keep me grounded when life feels confusing or overwhelming. These are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to purchase — at no extra cost to you. Thanks for supporting my blog 💛

“I’m Writing Again—Here’s Why I Stopped Blogging”

It’s been a while, and here’s why I stopped blogging.

Actually, it’s been over a year since I last posted here. I never meant to stop, but the truth is… this is the real story of why I stopped blogging. Not because I didn’t care, but because I cared so much that it scared me.

For a long time, I kept telling myself I’d come back when I felt more motivated or had something “important” to say. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t the real reason why I stopped blogging. I was overwhelmed, afraid, and honestly, doubting myself more than I wanted to admit.

Writing this blog has always meant something personal. It was never about going getting recognition or being perfect. It was about expression, growth, connection. But somewhere along the way, fear crept in. Fear of not being good enough. Of failing at something that mattered to me. But mostly, fear that no one was even reading or that my words didn’t have value.

Life happened too. I returned to work after nearly eight months away, and the transition hit me harder than I expected. It felt like I was drowning in responsibilities, self-doubt, and this pressure to be productive again when I hadn’t even fully found my footing.

I told myself I didn’t have the time. Or the energy. Or the motivation.

The truth is, writing never left me. The idea of this blog lingered in the back of my mind all this time. I kept pushing it aside, waiting for the perfect moment, when I felt more focused, more disciplined, more inspired.

But that moment never came.

So here I am, writing again. Not because I finally feel “motivated” but because I had to stop letting excuses win. I had to remind myself that I started this for a reason, because I wanted to create something real. Something that felt like me.

Keeping up with the things I start has always been a struggle. I’ll be the first to admit it. And restarting feels even harder because it forces me to confront everything I’ve avoided. But I don’t want to keep quitting on myself, especially not on something that means this much to me.

So this is me showing up. Imperfectly, vulnerably, and maybe a little late—but I’m here. And that’s a start.

If you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt like giving up on something you once loved… I get it. But maybe today is the day you just try again. Not because everything is in place, but because it matters.

As for right now, I don’t have a content plan or a clear direction for where this blog is going. I just knew I had to come back and start writing again. That’s it. I’m letting go of the pressure to have it all figured out. Going with the flow. I’m learning to release control, to stop overthinking every step, and to let life be my teacher. Whatever I feel called to share, I’ll write it. That’s the only plan. For now.

If you are reading this post, thanks for sticking around. More posts soon—no promises of perfection, just progress.

A woman writing in a typewriter , symbolizing a return to blogging

From Self-Doubt to Self-Love: My Path Through Low Self-Esteem

Realizing that I had low self-esteem was one of the hardest and most painful truths that I had to face once I started my healing journey.

For today’s blog, I’m going to share my personal journey with low self-esteem. For years, I struggled with self-doubt, insecurities, and a lack of self-love. It wasn’t until I hit my 30s (hey there Saturn’s return) that I woke up to the harsh reality that I didn’t truly love myself. The constant self-criticism, the fear of not being “enough,” it all weighed heavily on me. All of this made me realize that I had been neglecting the most important relationship in my life: the one with myself. So grab a cup of tea and cozy up as I share my story and some tips for boosting your own self-esteem.

Realizing the Struggle:

As mentioned in a previous post, I always felt like an outcast, like I didn’t fit in anywhere. I was constantly comparing myself to others, feeling like I wasn’t good enough. Always scrutinizing my face or body in the mirror, only to become obsessed with perceived “imperfections” and feeling worse about myself. While I don’t want to fully blame my parents for not fostering my self-esteem, when I look back, I see how both of them struggled with their own self-worth, which inevitably influenced my own self-perception.

Once puberty hit, I became even more critical of my appearance. From enduring two years of braces to struggling with styling my frizzy hair, every change seemed to magnify my self-doubt. Acne became a constant battle in my teenage years, leading to hours spent watching YouTube tutorials on how to cover it with makeup, hoping to mask the flaws I saw in the mirror. The comparison game continued into my 20s, fueled by social media standards and the painful sting of betrayal from being cheated on, which further ruined my self-esteem.

Luckily, as I said farewell to my 20s, I had a wake-up call. Staring at my reflection one day, I realized I didn’t recognize the person looking back at me. I had neglected myself for far too long, and it was time to make a real change. I no longer wanted to feel that low and empty, and so my healing journey began.

The Journey Begins:

And so, my journey to self-love began. It hasn’t been easy, let me tell you. In fact, it has been one of the most painful journeys I have embarked on, but to say it hasn’t been beautiful would be a total lie. I dived headfirst into the depths of my psyche, confronting painful memories and buried traumas that had shaped my perception of myself. 

I embarked on intense “shadow work,” digging into the darkest corners of my soul to unearth the wounds that desperately needed healing. It has been a raw and vulnerable process—one that brought tears, laughter, and everything in between.

The Beauty in the Pain:

But amidst the pain, there was beauty. As I faced my demons with courage and compassion, I began to unravel layers of self-limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. My ego had dominated my psyche and inner dialogue for most of my adult life and I needed to put an end to it. 

I discovered that self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and reciting positive affirmations (though those certainly help!). It’s about embracing every part of myself—the light and the shadows, the triumphs and the scars. It’s about learning to hold myself tenderly, like a precious work of art in need of restoration.

Tips for Cultivating Self-Esteem:

Now, you might be wondering, how can you begin your own journey to self-esteem? I’ve compiled a few tips to get you started on your path to self-love:

  1. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself, especially in moments of struggle or self-doubt. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a dear friend.
  2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Whenever you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself, “Is this belief based in reality, or is it simply a product of my inner critic?”
  3. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain your energy or diminish your sense of self-worth. Honor your needs and prioritize your well-being above all else.
  4. Celebrate Your Wins: Whether big or small, take time to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements. Celebrating your successes reinforces a positive sense of self-esteem.
  5. Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you need it. Whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends, having a support system can make all the difference on your journey.

Recommended Resources:

If you’re looking for some extra support on your journey to self-love, here are a few resources I highly recommend:

  • Book: “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown
  • Book: “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero
  • Podcast: “The Self-Love Fix” by Beatrice Kamau

Conclusion:

It’s been a wild ride, filled with twists and turns, highs and lows. But through it all, I’ve emerged stronger, more resilient, and fiercely in love with myself. I still have my days where my self-esteem isn’t where I would like it to be. But I snap out of it quickly and remind myself that the negative self-talk isn’t my true self, and the little me that lives within me deserves better. Remember, you are worthy of love, belonging, and all the good things life has to offer. Embrace your journey, embrace yourself, and never forget the incredible power of self-love. Until next time, take care, and remember to be kind to yourself. You’re an amazing, sweet soul.

From Self-Doubt to Self-Love: My Path Through Low Self-Esteem

Discovering Healing Through Poetry: My Favorite Poetry Books

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Poetry has a unique ability to weave emotions into words, creating a picture of emotions that resonates deeply with the soul. For me, poetry isn’t just about beautiful verses; it’s a journey of self-discovery, healing, and profound connection. As I embarked on my healing journey four years ago, I found solace, inspiration, and empowerment within the pages of poetry books.  In the past I wrote a post about my top 5 personal growth books to read in 2024. Now, I am going to share with you a selection of my favorite poetry books. Each of which has played a significant role in my healing journey. From exploring the depths of self-love to embracing the complexities of human emotions, these books have touched my heart and soul in profound ways. 

1. Flowers on the Moon by Billy Chapata:

“Flower on the Moon” by Billy Chapata is a poetic masterpiece that speaks directly to the heart imo. His words are like gentle whispers of wisdom, guiding readers through the complexities of life with grace and compassion. This collection is a beautiful journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment. Each poem is a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the beauty of embracing our vulnerabilities.

favorite poetry books
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2. The SHE book by Tanya Markul:

Markul’s powerful prose celebrates the divine feminine within us all. Through her evocative writing, she invites readers to embrace their authenticity and reclaim their power. It’s a journey of self-love and empowerment that leaves a lasting impact.

favorite poetry books
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3. HER by Pierre Alex Jeanty:

Jeanty’s collection beautifully captures the essence of womanhood, exploring themes of love, heartbreak, and resilience. His words are both empowering and comforting, offering a sense of solidarity to those navigating the complexities of relationships and self-discovery. Each poem is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

favorite poetry books
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4. Inward by Yung Pueblo:

“Inward” by Yung Pueblo offers profound insights into mindfulness, self-reflection, and inner peace. Pueblo’s poetry encourages readers to look inward, confront their fears, and embrace personal growth. His words resonate with authenticity and wisdom, guiding us on a journey of self-discovery.

favorite poetry books
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5. Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur:


Rupi Kaur’s “Milk and Honey” talks about love, sadness, and feeling better. Kaur’s poems are simple but meaningful, touching on things like tough times, being strong, and feeling good about yourself. Her words are strong yet gentle, bringing comfort to anyone who needs it.

favorite poetry books
Buy on Amazon

6. Evergreen by Kristen Robinson:

“Evergreen” by Kristen Robinson, better known as @nakedwriting on Instagram, is a captivating collection of poetry that celebrates love, growth, and resilience. Robinson’s words resonate with authenticity and vulnerability, inviting readers to embrace their imperfections and find beauty in the journey of self-discovery.

favorite poetry books
Buy on Amazon

These books have not only served as sources of comfort and a brief escape from my reality, but have also inspired me to explore my own creativity through writing poems. As I continue on my healing journey, I find comfort in the written word, knowing that poetry has the power to heal, uplift, and transform.

Whether you’re seeking comfort in times of struggle or simply looking to connect with your innermost thoughts and emotions, these poetry books are sure to leave a lasting impression. Dive into their pages and let the healing power of poetry guide you on your own journey of self-discovery and growth.

Remember, healing is a journey, and poetry can be your companion along the way.

favorite poetry books

I Went No Contact with My Father; A Few Months Later, He Died.

Going no contact with a parent is the last thing an adult child ever wants to do.

If you grew up in a religious Hispanic household, disowning family members, especially a parent, is considered a forbidden act, a taboo. “Always honor both your parents” was something taught from an early age. You should always be indebted and grateful to them, regardless of any emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual pain they might have caused you growing up.

But what happens when the pain caused by a parent becomes too unbearable, too deep, too painful to continue the dysfunctional relationship? What do you do in that situation? Do you keep on enduring the abuse or do you walk away, even if it’s one of the most painful decisions you will ever make?

Deciding to go no contact with a parent is not a decision made lightly. In fact, it is one of the most heartbreaking things an adult child will ever have to do.

going no contact with my father

What is No Contact with a parent?

“No contact with a parent” is when an individual, usually an adult child, decides to cut off all communication and interaction with one or both of their parents. This decision is often made due to significant conflicts, abuse, or other toxic behavior displayed by the parent. This makes maintaining the relationship extremely harmful for the adult child. No contact is a boundary-setting measure aimed at protecting the individual’s emotional well-being and safety.

Adult children of emotionally immature parents often end up carrying their parents’ burdens as their own due to cultural and family dynamics. Embarking on my healing journey opened my eyes to the truth about our relationship: there was no father-daughter relationship. It was simply an obligation because of the way I was raised.

My experience with going no contact with my father

I had lived with my father for the first decade of my life. But after my parents came to the States to pursue a better life, they separated, and I never lived with him again. My father failed to form a bond with me after the divorce. And as time went by, the love and attachment I had for him started to disappear due to psychological abuse. I spent almost two decades convincing myself that it was normal not having a close relationship with him because the women in my family also had estranged relationships with their fathers.

But honestly, it wasn’t normal. At least, not in my eyes. To me, it seemed like the generational father’s wound had been passed down from my great grandmother, to my grandma, to my mother, and all the way down to me. That’s why I decided to put an end to it and no longer be identified by it. I refused to have a relationship with a family member just out of obligation.

When I first made the decision to go no contact with my father, I experienced all different emotions. But setting up a boundary allowed me to have my life back. For once, I was in full control of my own life and was no longer living by the expectations of others. Of course, alongside feeling empowered by my decision, feelings of shame and guilt overwhelmed me. “Was I doing the right thing? Am I a terrible person? What happens if he dies or harms himself because of my decision?” Those were some of the thoughts that constantly haunted me.

Going no contact with my father wasn’t just about cutting ties; it was about reclaiming my power and setting boundaries. It was about putting myself first and prioritizing my own happiness and well-being, regardless of the opinion of others. And though the journey was extremely painful, it ultimately led me to a place of peace and self-acceptance.

Tips for dealing with the decision to go no contact with a parent:

  1. Seek Support: Surround yourself with understanding friends, family, or a therapist who can offer emotional support during this painful time.
  2. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to your parent and stick to them.
  3. Let go of the guilt: Cutting off a parent is a huge decision, but your responsibility is first to your yourself and your well-being.
  4. Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority to manage emotions and reduce stress.
  5. Allow Yourself to Grieve: Recognize that it’s okay to mourn the loss of the relationship, even if it’s necessary.
  6. Stay Firm: Stay committed to your decision, even if others try to persuade you otherwise.
  7. Create Distance: Surround yourself with supportive people and limit contact with those who may guilt-trip you.
  8. Find Closure: Seek closure within yourself through writing, journaling, or therapy.
  9. Practice Forgiveness: Work towards forgiving your parent for your own peace of mind, without excusing their behavior.
  10. Trust Yourself: Trust your instincts and know that you’re making the best decision for your well-being.

A few months after I made the decision to cut my father out of my life, he passed away, and I wasn’t there to say goodbye. Emotionally, I had been grieving him in silence since I was a teen. I also made peace with my decision and forgave him because I owed it to myself. I came to the realization that forgiveness is never about the other person. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of the past. I am grateful for him and the lessons he taught me in this lifetime. And I truly believe that his shortcomings allowed me to transform myself in the most positive way. To this day, I don’t regret anything. Though my heart aches for the little girl in me that was in love with her dad and lost him the day he came to this country.

If you’re going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to put your own well-being and mental health first. Your healing matters. You deserve to find peace and happiness, and to live free of pain no matter what anyone else says. Trust in your own strength, and know that brighter days lie ahead on the path to healing and self-love.

going no contact with a parent

<3

Embracing the Storm Within: Managing Big Emotions

For the longest time, I found myself running away from intense emotions. Fearing their overwhelming power. I was scared of the depth of my own emotions and the chaos they seemed to unleash internally. Honestly, it was easier to bury them. To suppress them. To pretend they didn’t exist, instead of confronting what I was truly feeling inside. 

Avoidance only fueled the fire I carried within me. Ignoring those overwhelming emotions didn’t make them disappear at all. Instead, it made them linger for a very long time. Patiently waiting for an opportunity to finally rise to the surface. Eventually, I realized that in my quest to shield myself from feeling any type of pain, I was actually denying the opportunity to be human and fully indulge in the diverse range of emotions that we all came here to experience. And most importantly, I was refusing the opportunity to learn how to process them in a healthy way without becoming attached to them.

In the past, I used to pretend like everything was fine; even my behavior showed the opposite. For as long as I remember, I have been running away from anything that made me feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. Unless I was going through a breakup, those were the only times I allowed myself to feel the pain. I come from a family that prefers to sweep things under the rug. I also grew up watching my mother suppress her emotions because of how uncomfortable it makes her feel. But as I get older, I am realizing she had not choice but to be strong for me and my baby sister. And just like that, I started to mirror the same behavior and repressed overwhelming emotions in order to protect myself.

My journey began when I decided to embark on the never-ending path of self-healing. Doing shadow work allowed me to see my own darkness and finally become aware, at 33 years-young, of my emotional numbness. Honestly, I didn’t like it. It made me feel extremely sad about the fact that I have been dissociating for most of my life due to severe stress and trauma. So I sought refuge in mindfulness and meditation, viewing them as tools that could potentially help me navigate the tumultuous waters of my emotions. Little did I know that these practices would become my anchor in my internal storm.

Mindfulness taught me to observe my emotions without judgment or attachment. It was challenging at first but yet, very enlightening. I began by simply acknowledging my feelings as they arose, and feeling them in my body. Allowing myself to experience them fully without suppressing or denying their existence. Meditation became my sanctuary; a space where I could sit with my emotions, and simply observe them as they pass without allowing them to overpower me.

Today, I stand more resilient, equipped with the wisdom that comes from confronting my emotions head-on. They no longer loom over me like an invincible obstacle; instead, they are guides, showing me the depth and richness of the human experience. To anyone navigating their own emotional journey, I encourage you to embrace your feelings, no matter how overwhelming they may seem. Practice mindfulness and patience. Allow yourself to feel without attachment, and trust that within the storm lies an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Embrace the storm within; it might just lead you to the calm you seek.

Overcoming Avoidance: A battle against myself

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Have you ever found yourself caught in the avoidance trap? You know, the one where you plan to tackle that to-do list but end up binge-watching videos on YouTube or Netflix instead? Or when you would rather pretend everything is fine in your relationship instead of having that uncomfortable talk with your partner? Join the club! Avoidance has been my silent best friend for as long as I can remember. I have yet to figure out the event in my life that turned me into the avoidant person that I am today. But as I learn more about myself, I notice that I cope with anxiety and depression by avoiding and isolating myself from people and situations that feel extremely overwhelming. In this blog post, I’m going to dive into my personal journey against overcoming avoidance.

The Struggle is Real

Let’s be honest: adulthood is no walk in the park. Looking back, I can’t believe I used to think that being an adult was the sh*t. Between bills, responsibilities, and that never-ending pressure to have your life together by a certain age, adulthood is probably the worst hood I have visited. But honestly, with everything going on with life and its many struggles, can you blame me for wanting to stay in my cozy cocoon of avoidance forever? As mentioned in Dr. Daniel F. Gros’s PHD workbook, Overcoming Avoidance, “avoidance and isolation are natural reactions to negative emotions such as depression, anxiety, fear, and anger.”

When those big emotions come knocking at my door, my first instinct is to find the nearest distraction so I can feel better at that moment or forget about it. Whether it’s mindlessly scrolling through social media or binge-watching Netflix shows, I’ve mastered the art of running away. But here’s the catch: those big emotions that I’m avoiding aren’t going anywhere. At the moment, it might feel better to avoid it, but ultimately, I’m only prolonging the actual problem. In the long run, it actually gives me more anxiety or depression to avoid or isolate myself. And those big emotions will continue to haunt me until I finally have the courage to face them. I almost feel like a walking time bomb waiting to explode or be defused. But learning how to get in touch with my emotions has been extremely helpful. I am still a work in progress. Taking one day at a time. As Miley Cyrus would say, “ain’t about how fast I get there, ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side. It’s the climb.”

Facing the Fire

Now, here comes the fun part—facing the fire. Confronting those big, uncomfortable feelings and situations might feel impossible at first. The thought of even doing it makes me extremely anxious. But the relief I get after confronting what I was running away from is liberating and powerful as f*ck. I end up feeling like a badass for conquering something that gave me so much anxiety at some point. I’m currently using the workbook I mentioned above called “Overcoming Avoidance” by Dr. Daniel F. Gros, PHD, and I’m becoming more aware of the patterns I have learned throughout my life and learning how to cope in a healthy way. There are different tools one can use to help you overcome avoidance, such as therapy, journaling, workbooks, stress management techniques. You just have to find something that works for you, but most importantly, believe that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to.

Overcoming Avoidance Final Thoughts

My personal saga of overcoming avoidance has had many ups and downs. It’s like breaking free from the clutches of a comfort zone that’s overstayed its welcome and embracing the uncomfortable. Growth often lurks just beyond our fears. Remember, the first step is awareness. By recognizing when avoidance is rearing its head, you’re already halfway there. As I continue on my journey to overcome avoidance, I am constantly reminding myself to be kind.

We’re only humans, and setbacks are inevitable. But by staying committed to our goals and being gentle with ourselves along the way, we can conquer avoidance and live our lives to the fullest. You’re not alone in this adventure. So go ahead, dive into the unknown, embrace the challenges, and watch yourself grow. Share your story in the comment section!

Love 101: Life Lessons From My Relationships

Love is one of our greatest teachers. It’s a classroom that doesn’t offer traditional lessons or textbooks but instead immerses us in different experiences that shape our understanding of ourselves and others. I have been reflecting on the different life lessons I have learned through romantic relationships for a while, and I’ve come to realize that each connection has been a profound lesson in its own right, even if at first I wasn’t aware of it.

Every relationship has been a different chapter in my life that has taught me priceless life lessons about love, communication, compromise, and self-discovery. I believe relationships are mirrors of our inner world, which allow us to see what we hide beneath the surface. Our unhealed wounds caused throughout life will be amplified in these relationships. And sadly, in some cases, something that started as a beautiful thing can quickly turn into a destructive and damaging experience.

Ending a relationship usually brings tremendous amounts of pain and sadness. But it can also lead to powerful self-realizations and personal growth. I truly believe there are many life lessons to be learned from each romantic relationship we encounter. At first, it’s nearly impossible to see it because the ego loves being a victim. But once the grief starts to wear off, we can allow ourselves to see that relationship for what it was—a teachable moment in our personal journey throughout this lifetime.

In this blog post, I’ll dive into some life lessons I’ve learned from my romantic relationships so far—insights that have shaped my understanding of love, and ultimately, myself.

life lessons from my romantic relationships

Love Yourself

As cliche as it sounds, this major revelation came as I was entering my 30s. I spent the majority of my life thinking that I loved myself when my actions showed the complete opposite. The concept of self-love was foreign to me. I grew up believing that love came from a partner. But mastering the art of self-love has been one of the most beautiful and important things I have learned from my relationships. Thanks to it, I now know how to prioritize my personal well-being, as well as my happiness and growth, before seeking validation or fulfillment from external parties.

Expectations Leads to Disappointments

You know the saying, “If he wanted to, he would”? Yeah, I wish I would’ve heard it sooner. I think most people enter relationships with unrealistic expectations. Don’t get me wrong; expectations are important. But there’s a difference between being realistic and delusional. I spent many years waiting to be someone’s main priority. Wanting to be seen. To be fancied and treated the way I always wanted to. I finally learned that expecting others to do as I please without voicing my needs and wants only leads to feeling disappointed. It’s important to set boundaries and communicate with your partner about what you want and expect from the relationship, which leads to…

Don’t Forget To Communicate

A HUGE one in my book. When I reflect on my younger years, I used to think that if my partner didn’t read my mind, it meant he didn’t love me. LOL. I have always struggled with how to properly verbalize my thoughts and feelings. Thankfully, I have an amazing partner who has excellent communication skills and is very in tune with his emotions. He constantly helps me get better at expressing myself and is very patient with me. We have built a safe space where we can both openly talk about anything without feeling judged. And it’s been an incredible journey, both profound and painful but nevertheless beautiful.

Not every relationship will lead to marriage

I’m the type of person who blindly believes in love and growing old together. And, as I get older and a bit wiser, I have learned that not all relationships will end in marriage. Some are there to show us something about ourselves that we weren’t able to see on our own, and they are helping us see the bigger picture. The most important thing is to not give into society’s pressure of having to get married by a certain age. The biggest lie we were told was that we need to have “our lives together” by the time we hit 30.

Date While Young

Honestly, this is a bit hypocritical of me. I haven’t really dated because I am a relationship type of gal. But I strongly believe now that dating, especially while young, helps you see what is truly out there and opens your eyes to all the possibilities. If I could go back in time, I would tell my 20-year-old self to focus more on herself and not take relationships during this decade seriously. Also, dating doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Getting to know different types of mindsets can help narrow down what to want and expect from a potential partner. Dating can be fun and non-serious, and it can definitely help you learn so much about yourself.

Your Unhealed Wounds Will Amplify In Your Relationship

This one was a hard pill to swallow. As I embarked on my healing journey, I became aware of how my unresolved trauma was manifesting in my romantic relationships through patterns and behaviors that I learned and experienced early in life. I spent many years and a lot of my energy in toxic relationships, thinking that eventually things were going to get better. But they don’t, not unless both individuals take accountability for their poor actions and truly have the desire to want to change. If you have been in an unhealthy relationship, I salute you. Leaving those types of relationships takes a tremendous amount of strength, energy and courage, and in most cases, many years.

Don’t Lose Yourself

It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship, especially if you don’t have any sense of individuality. It’s important for both parties to build a solid and healthy foundation for the betterment of the relationship, but please don’t neglect yourself in the process. Remember, it’s about building a partnership that allows for personal growth while being together.

Catch All the O’s

I once heard that “the male ego is as fragile as a woman’s heart,” and I couldn’t agree more. From a young age, I formed the self-limited belief that men weren’t capable of handling “painful and uncomfortable” truths, because they lacked emotional maturity. For most of my adult life, I pretended to enjoy the type of sex I was getting. Faking orgasms, being “okay” with the vanilla sex and the lack of effort. Luckily, I’m no longer in my 20s. I’m finally learning how to voice my needs and wants and that includes my sexual needs. I have learned that it takes a special kind of man to want to learn how your whole body works. Life was meant to be fully experienced and that includes having mind blowing sex as well 😉 

One thing’s for sure: lessons from relationships are pure gold. Each heartache and every blissful moment has taught me something new—like how to communicate better, how to truly love myself, what to expect from a partner and when to hold on and when to let go. Looking back, I’m grateful for these experiences because they have shaped me and helped me grow as an individual. These lessons aren’t just scribbles in my journal; they’re life’s sticky notes reminding me to embrace the messy, beautiful chaos of human connections. So here’s to the messy lessons that make us wiser and more in-tune ourselves. 

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