For this week’s post, I wanted to write about something that has been a real struggle for the past few years. I’ve been sharing my challenges with self-discipline, change, and being in the in-between phases—but I haven’t really opened up about something that has been “ruling” my life for the past 3–4 years: social anxiety.
Social anxiety has quietly influenced many of my decisions. Not because I don’t enjoy meeting people or don’t want friends, but because putting myself in unfamiliar social situations has often felt overwhelming.
This past weekend, I challenged myself to do something that scared me: attend a social event where I knew absolutely no one. The event was called the Jersey Girl Walk, and while it may seem simple to some people, for me it was a HUGE step outside my comfort zone.
This is the story of my struggle with social anxiety, the excuses I made, the fears I had, and how simply showing up is starting to change my life.
My History With Social Anxiety
I became aware that I had social anxiety about 3–4 years ago. Before that, I didn’t really think about it.
But during the pandemic, spending so much time alone and being away from social groups made me extremely anxious around people again. And to be honest, I think I’ve always had some level of anxiety when it comes to making new friends.
I spent a big part of my life masking myself—becoming a more “palatable” version just to be accepted and loved. I just wasn’t fully aware of it.
For me, social anxiety looks like:
- Being afraid to meet new people
- Fear of being judged or not liked
- Overthinking what I’m going to say in conversations
- Feeling awkward in social settings and unsure how to contribute
- Feeling left out, especially when people already know each other
My mind often interprets that as: they’re probably talking about me when I’m not around.
This wasn’t always as intense as it is now, and I think becoming more self-aware also made me notice it more.
Lately, social situations have felt mentally exhausting before they even begin.
Mindset Shift
Lately, I’ve been feeling a shift within myself. There’s a part of me that feels like it’s waking up and wants to be more social again—to participate, connect, and be part of a community.
Maybe it’s me longing for connection again. Or maybe I’m gaining more control over my anxiety, which already feels like a huge win.
In the past, when I knew a social event was coming up, I would overthink everything. My mind would run through every possible scenario just to find a way out of it and go back to what felt “safe.”
But recently, that hasn’t been happening as much.
I was even able to go to my brother-in-law’s birthday celebration with Cesar. I didn’t feel overly anxious, I wasn’t overthinking it, and I was actually present and enjoying myself. I wanted to engage in conversations.
That alone felt like a major win for me.
When Fear and Excitement Exist at the Same Time
I knew that if I wanted to overcome this, I had to face it directly and do something outside my comfort zone.
I found a girl on TikTok organizing a social event for women to meet and make friends. I decided to go.
I added it to my calendar so I wouldn’t back out, and I made the decision that I was going no matter what.
Would my mind try to find excuses? Yes. But this time, I didn’t give them power. I stayed focused on my intention: do something uncomfortable to help myself grow.
Was I nervous the whole week leading up to it? Yes. But I also tried something new—I reframed the feeling from “anxiety” to “excitement.”
I once heard that fear and excitement feel very similar in the body. The difference is how we interpret it.
I don’t want to live my life guided by fear, so I’m choosing to lean into excitement about the unknown instead.
The only way my social life was going to change was if I did something different.
The Moment Everything Changed
The day of the event—The Jersey Girl Walk—I had the jitters.
I vlogged how I was feeling while driving to the park. The uncertainty of not knowing what to expect made me a little uneasy, but overall I felt excited.
When I arrived and saw a group of women already there, I internally wanted to scream a little lol—there was no turning back.
But I kept reminding myself: I got this. I can do this. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
And I channeled my inner Ari (my baby sis energy).
Once I got there, I actually did it. I started talking to people. I was the one initiating conversations. Me.
I couldn’t believe it.
I met two women who also seemed a bit introverted, and after a while we started walking together and naturally clicked.
What surprised me most was how social I actually became. It was shocking and eye-opening at the same time.
It also made me realize something important: a lot of people feel exactly the same way I do. We’re all just trying to connect and figure it out.
And that realization made me feel less alone.
What I Learned From Getting Out of My Comfort Zone
The only way out of my comfort zone is through discomfort. There’s no shortcut.
You just do it scared. That’s it.
The desire has to be stronger than the fear.
My mind had created so many stories about social situations—people judging me, not liking me, or laughing at me—but most of it was never real.
And yes, I might not click with everyone, and that’s okay. The people I’m meant to connect with will naturally gravitate toward me, and vice versa.
That walk taught me that I can do hard things.
That confidence comes after action, not before.
And that I’m slowly becoming a better, more grounded version of myself.
I didn’t leave the event as a completely different person. I left knowing I was capable of doing hard things.
And the best things in life really are on the other side of fear.
If You’re Struggling With Social Anxiety
You are not alone, and you are not crazy. Social anxiety is real, and it can feel extremely overwhelming.
The first step is recognizing it and accepting it.
Our minds can play tricks on us. Our brains are designed to keep us safe, which is why it creates scenarios that are often not real, just to protect us.
It took me years to get to a point where I’m no longer letting social anxiety fully control my life.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re also trying to take back control.
Start small. Don’t let intrusive thoughts win the battle. You are stronger than you think.
Final Thoughts
This weekend wasn’t just about making new friends. It was about proving to myself that I don’t have to let fear make my decisions.
Social anxiety may still show up sometimes, but this experience reminded me that courage isn’t the absence of fear.
Sometimes courage is simply showing up anyway.
And you will never grow if you stay in your comfort zone.
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